What? You are depressed? Do you even know the meaning of depression?
Oh, come on, what stress you would have, being a 13-year-old kid!
This is the biggest mistake we as adults do to our kids, students, and younger siblings.
I met this kid Rohan (name changed for privacy purpose) sometime back. He is my son’s friend and visits our home quite often. I have been seeing this wonderful kid as a very cheerful, playful, and joyous lad, but from the last year or so he has turned quiet and introverted and visits our house lesser.
I asked my son if Rohan is well and he told me that he is into school absenteeism and is declining with his grades.
One day when Rohan visited us after a very long time I had this instinct that something is going wrong with him and tried to inquire.
Started with some friendly conversations and indirect storytelling I tried my best to make him feel comfortable to share and eventually I realized that it is not just mood swings or random behavioral changes, it was something deeper and heavier. He was facing acute stress, overthinking, and pain in his heart.
Mental illness is visible, you should have the right eye to identify.
Mental illness is not age-specific
We, as adults have been constantly doing this mistake of disregarding the mental healths of the underaged. We think that these are just normal mood swings, “that happens at this age”, but it could be something bigger. They might be facing something really severe and need your help, but you are unable to understand.
Why?
Because you concentrate more on their age and less on their worries.
You fail to realize that mental illness has no age bar. There could be any reason that might hamper your mind and thought processes at absolutely any stage of your life.
Rohan was facing family issues. His parents used to fight daily and the father sometimes used to beat his mother. Grooming in this environment affected his mind badly and was into self-torturing. His story made me realize that it is not just adults but young kids can also go through mental illnesses.
I have seen kids being stressed out of family issues, study pressure. I have seen teenagers being depressed out of emotional outbreaks and unstable mindset.
And the common issue with almost all of them is that they are unable to handle their emotional quotient because they lack awareness about mental health and the adults around them are busy hustling in their own life.
Depression knows no age
Warning signs
Similar to grown-ups, the kids also show warning signs of their mental illness and communicate to you in their own way that they need your help and support.
They might tell you straight away that they aren’t feeling good or what negative experience they’ve been experiencing. On the other hand, there are kids who express in an indirect way because they generally cannot keep their emotions to themselves.
When I noticed that Rohan is acting differently from past some time I took this as warning signals. It was not very difficult to understand if we are careful of our surroundings. Proactiveness and care by a single person can help someone get out of depression.
The vibe you get from a person tells it all.
Kids can somehow express their stress through a drawing or a poem or maybe in their daily diary where they pen their day to day experiences. They can also now express through social media posts or the changes in their music choice. You just have to be extra careful and mature to understand those signs.
Other signs could be-
- Frequent tantrums or arguments
- Short-tempered behavior
- Often talk about worries or issues
- Frequent headaches or other body pains
- Sleep too much or too little
- Academic struggling or decline in grades
- Have lost interest in hobbies they used to enjoy
- Engage in self-harming behaviors or destructive ideas
- Facing difficulty in communicating
How to help them heal
Other people can help kids heal their depression or any other mental illness they might be facing. They might not always need a counselor to seek help. One open conversation with no predetermined judgments can make them feel they aren’t alone in their tough times.
- As parents/mentors
If your kids show some warning signs that they aren’t keeping well, the most important thing you should do is to make them feel open towards you. You have to make them feel that your ears are with them whenever they need you.
Many children can’t speak up openly with adults because they feel that they can’t make them understand or the people might not be able to understand their thinking patterns.
You have to be friends with your sons and daughters and dive into their minds.
If the situation goes out of control. Don’t hesitate to make your kid visit a mental health professional.
- Role of schools
Schools should organize their curriculum in such a way that their students aren’t pressurized to go to school. They feel happier in their alma mater.
Schools should conduct counseling sessions from time to time not just for their career counseling but also for their mental health counseling so that their emotional quotient is built up strongly in those tender years. If your mind and thoughts are groomed in the right way during the schooling years, you are better prepared to face the outer world and the cruel experiences some people and situations bring into your life.
Schools should talk to their parents during their meeting and discuss their growth and patterns, not just grades but an overall mental growth that ultimately defines how they will handle themselves and the life they are inviting. No grades would help if they aren’t feeling good with themselves.
Schools should make their students understand that it is important to be self-dependent, not just being financially independent but also emotionally independent.
The mental health of the underaged is often ignored just for the same fact that they are underaged. We never pay any heed what they might be suffering, because we fail to realize that their developing brains will respond more to an issue or a negative situation. Their emotional quotient is not completely built up and it is easier for them to develop a depressing state of mind. If the situation worsens, medications are also not a bad idea, but before practicing any medications, there should be proper counseling and research to read their mind.
Mental illness is not age-specific,
nor the healing!
